I guess I’m sort of a conundrum, as I consider myself both complex and easy to figure at the same time. What I mean to say is that I can be very hard to understand or follow if you come to the table unwilling to listen and/or entrenched in extreme views. My simplicity comes in that, I believe moderation in your beliefs and views can speed you on the path to enlightenment, peace and joy. Hardcore and hard-lined perspectives make you so rigid and unyielding that when you come up against your opposition you come closer to breaking than you do resolute compromise. I also feel as though we have given individuality in beliefs and ideas too much freedom! We need to have more agreement on some basic essentials, before we can put such high values on individual thoughts. Let’s have some agreed upon perspectives on the basics/essentials and only then can diversity in secondary and ancillary thoughts/beliefs be valuable! Everyone can’t be right… good ole’ debate has been lost everywhere but the legal system and academia. We should engage in healthy respectful debate of ideologies every once in awhile, so we clear the way for fresh new ideas and strategies to help heal some of our biggest social ills. Without this I think we may loose the current generation and our future in the process. I would just like to see our interpersonal communication improve in my lifetime, so we can be on our way toward a better society.




Very enlightening. You are a wordsmith indeed! I appreciate your honesty in your about me page. I agree that we have lost somewhere “In Translation” our ability to debate on even the most basic issues. Today more and more people “self” included can take very rigid postions on issues that touch closely to home and our personal lives.
These personal issues are unfortunately and quite often under no circumstances open for debate or change, but sometimes they need to be. I belive this rigidness is a built in self-defense mechanism that we (speaking as an African American) have shielded ourselves with over time especially those of us who have been constantly challenged either mentally, physically, spiritually, and of course racially; being shown nothing but opposition to your very own existance has lent an ear to intolerance. It is hard to listen to a world that is constantly yelling negativism at you to the point of drowning all five of your senses with their so-called opinions, facts, non-facts, and beliefs through every possible source of media now known to mankind; which has literally become obese with other people’s; that is: (NEWS_ANCHORS, PRESS, JOURNALIST, AND THE _LIKE) so -called news and information (sensationalism) which are all to often inaccurate falsehoods. We have become programmed to turn on at 5,6 and 10 while we simultaneously turn off the truth…..which is?
Excellent observation! Thank you for such a passion-filled comment. All the more reason we need to begin a dialogue and stop leaving things up to the fashionably, elite few to determine and decide the topic and subject.
In philosophy and debate once you let your opponent determine the subject, you’ve already lost the argument! African-Americans are loosing the debate over and over again, because they are allowing those who have financial interests based upon this ethnic population, determine the subject…
Do you believe that you can be in love with more than one person?
I do believe it is possible to love more than one person, so it would seem just as possible to be ‘in love’ with more than one person as well (especially when we see that love is a choice codified by a commitment). When we choose to love or choose to be ‘in love’, we also discover that we are not perfect (nor is our lover). We realize that we want to be accepted, in addition to being loved and that we have to accept our lover the same way. If falling in love (for us) is as uncontrolled as falling in a ditch (or slipping in the bath tub), then insecurity and compulsion drives us to want our lover make us feel like there can never be anyone else who tickles their fancy. However if we admit the truth: that there are others out there who our lovers could ‘fall in love’ with, then we see that love and being ‘in love’ are choices we make despite the ‘greener grass’ syndrome. When we make a conscience choice to stay with our current lover, knowing that there is someone better than them out there, then we find out we can be ‘in love’ with more than one person. If our lover has the same attitude of choice, by purposefully staying with us despite those who are better than us, then that’s a truly worthwhile relationship. When we refuse to take responsibility for our love (and own it), we open ourselves up to flightiness of dissatisfaction and find ourselves hoping from relationship to relationship (because we are always trading up).
I guess the true test is to challenge the ‘green-eyed’ monster emotion called jealousy. If you can curb the passionate rage, because you allow a more sober view of yourself to prevail, then you will begin the process of learning to distinguish being ‘in love’ vs. mere possession of your partner (and mistakenly calling it love). Below is an excerpt from an article that challenges our ideas of how unchecked jealousy may reveal our fears and insecurity equally showing how our view of love and being ‘in love’ are so skewed we can’t fathom the idea of being ‘in love’ with more than one person.
“LOVE AND ATTACHMENT
Now, on the path where relationship is a means for coming to self-understanding… it is necessary to clarify the difference between loving and being attached. This is a most basic distinction, because so much of what we experience as attachment, we call love. In fact, most of the institutions around love, such as marriage and family, are actually ways of protecting our investment in attached situations. Loving someone is glorifying who they are in their uniqueness. Consider a flower. You see a flower that is really beautiful to you. You will either want to glorify that flower in its own natural setting, or else you will want to pick it and possess it. Those are two entirely different ways of being. Love creates a thankful glorification of the flower. In a relationship, being love is wanting to see the your lover thrive, enjoy, and grow. You want to see them become more of who they are no matter what that entails. That’s the truth of love. It is unconditional. Attachment is quite different. You want to pick the flower, sever it from its roots, and make it yours. You want to appropriate the beloved, make him or her be what you want them to be, conform to what is convenient for you in the relationship. Attachment is not care for the other; it’s care for oneself. This distinction has to be understood: are you loving, or are you attached? If you are attached, you are going to experience the pain of jealousy. It follows that jealousy becomes the opportunity to see within yourself the truth of attachment. Not theoretical understanding, but existential awareness of attachment at its very roots. Only through this awareness can jealousy be really transcended.”
This and you are damn so interesting, Just reading this blog, I have 110 questions I want to ask you. I could do this all day, i almost feel like I am cheating on my husband, just by wanting to know more about you!
Well ask away… and thank you! I would love to hear all your questions! Maybe you should introduce ‘Polyamory’ into your marriage so we can chat on here without you feeling guilty!
A little extreme I know, but I would hate to loose a potential commenter due to feelings of infidelity.